Love & Ideas

I don’t know if you believe in Love at First Sight. I'm not sure I do. (*Gasp!* Yes, I know blasphemy coming from a YA enthusiast, right? And today of all days. Shame on me.) If I’m honest then I lean towards it being Lust at First Sight and then if the relationship has legs we look back and think “Ahh yes, I knew instantly. There was that connection.”  Sometimes, the relationship doesn’t get past the initial investigation (that would be simply speaking in some cases) and sometimes the immediate attraction can’t cope with the pressure we put on it. I believe that the same can be said with the ideas we have for stories.

Recently Miss Snark’s First Victim wrote a blog where she described being stuck and the ideas not coming. One reader commented about the fragility of new ideas, that we need to hold them in delicate hands, rather than squeezing the b’jeezus out of them before they are strong enough to stand their ground. (I’ve paraphrased somewhat, but that’s about the bulk of it.)

So many of my own new ideas get crushed and abandoned because I expect them to do too much too soon, and I don’t allow the time just to investigate them and to let them blossom. I have been known to think that if they are strong enough, if they are truly The One, they’ll endure the pressure and emerge triumphant. Looking at it now, I suspect this is a misconception and also a self-perpetuating one at that.

What brought this home to me was a recent TV programme by Cherry Healy where she was looking at Dating habits. (Yes, I know. I should get out more.) One 30something woman was following a dating guide that had her challenged to obtain five phone numbers a week for six weeks. (Eek!) She said it was hard but it boosted her confidence and she went on lots of dates. Then, for Valentine’s Day, she wrote a letter to her "favourite", one of the earlier dates, telling him what she had been doing and inviting him over. She bought a cake and heart biscuits, she decorated her front room with balloons and she made him a “Number 1” rosette. She was literally bouncing with excitement. They had had ONE (1) date. Naturally the chap got spooked. The lady got “really cheesed off” with his response, stating he clearly wasn’t the right guy for her - like he had failed the big test. Cherry scarpered pretty quickly, mortified. Understandable. My toes were curling too.

 Whilst I concede that it is possible that there is Love at First Sight, just as you could immediately have The Big Idea, I think that the circumstances will have to be exceptional. More often things need a slower burn once the fuse is lit. Sometimes you meet someone through an established friend or through a new pursuit. Or there are those people who are friends first and things develop from there. Surely, when you take away the pressure, that’s the same way that lovely new ideas work too? True Love has to blossom, as do True Ideas.

Happy Valentine's Day!